As children, we have huge, magnificent dreams. We will live in an opulent castle, drive a snazzy sports car, marry a beautiful woman/ a dashingly handsome man and be rich beyond our wildest dreams.
Children’s imaginations know no bounds, until we are repeatedly told to get back to reality, to stop dreaming and do our homework.
We are told to work hard in school, get a job and settle for the limitations that we see around us. So, as we become adults, are we living our potential? Or have we settled for what society expects of us?
We are all born completely worthy. Think of a baby. He cries when he’s hungry and those cries will get louder until he’s fed. She fusses when she wants to be picked up and held.
They never question whether they deserve what they want, they just expect it. They have no body shame, they simply love themselves so completely that they will even put their toes in their mouth.
So, if we all started out completely worthy, why is it that we are all not living our fullest potential? As we grow up, we are conditioned to believe that we are limited by our parents’ ability to provide financially, the neighbourhood that we live in, the colour of our skin, our intellectual capacity or maybe just luck. Now this is not a blame game.
Firstly, understand that our parents did the best they could, based on their background, on what they were conditioned to believe and the role models they had.
Secondly, let’s understand how beliefs are formed. A belief is formed either by hearing the same words repeatedly OR by an intensely emotional experience.
Constantly being told that you are stupid/ clumsy/ too loud/ will never amount to anything, would result in you taking on the belief that that is what you are. We then do not stretch ourselves to go beyond these limitations.
An example of an emotional experience would be if a woman was raped. In that moment she could take on the belief that men are dangerous or make a decision that she would never let another man close to her. Beliefs are not only negative.
If our parents were living with awareness and praised us often and told us we could be or do or have anything we desired, we could have strong beliefs that we are worthy of the best life possible, we are lovable and we are capable of living our potential.
For those of you with strong, positive beliefs, be grateful for your upbringing and the people who helped you create these supportive beliefs.
For the rest, as adults, we get to question our beliefs and see whether they work to drive us towards our potential or keep us away from it.
If, for example, we were constantly told that we cannot have everything we want because there’s not enough money, we could have formed a belief that there’s not enough.
As adults, we can begin to shift that limiting belief. We do this by looking for evidence in the world that there is more than enough.
Look at the evidence of abundance around you. There are massive buildings, people eating out at restaurants, people buying new homes and cars, the shopping centres are always busy.
This disproves the belief that there’s not enough. It moves you out of a poverty mind set to an abundance mind set. Now that you know that was just a belief and not a fact, you can choose to change the belief.
The next step is to tell yourself that this abundance that you see in the world is available to you as well. You too, deserve this. All change must start within.
The outer world is a mere reflection of the thoughts, emotions and beliefs that you hold within yourself, so, if you want to see major changes in your life, start with identifying and shifting the limiting beliefs within.
There was a time in my life when I was flat broke, desperate and completely alone. I put myself through the process of all that I now teach my clients.
I had to identify my own limiting beliefs around money and success; face my own fears and choose to let go of everything that did not serve my highest good. Then I began the process of reprogramming my mind and emotions to match that which I desired.
It has been an amazing journey – a journey of self- discovery. It is an ongoing journey of discovering more and more of my potential and life just feels wonderful when we are constantly making progress. My wish for you is that you too will embark on this journey to living your greatest potential.
Kas Naidoo is a transformational coach, and matchmaker. She can be contacted via [email protected]
