The most amazing person or a scammer?

It hurts me to the core when I hear the stories of people, who meet potential new partners online only to get scammed by these ruthless, heartless criminals who prey on unsuspecting men and women who are simply looking for love.

They first come across as the most amazing person you have ever met and it’s heart-wrenching when you find out he/she was just a scammer.

With so many dating sites and apps available, it is a convenient way to meet new people and while I have heard some success stories, I’ve also heard the horror stories.

I’m not writing this to scare you, as I believe everyone deserves love and connection, but rather to alert you to what is happening, so that you take the necessary precautions when dating online.

A genuine person who is also looking for love, will be open to meeting you for a coffee date; after all you are both looking for a partner to share your life with.

The scammer on the other hand is usually widowed, rich and often in construction or engineering or has a huge, successful business. They will want to take the conversation to email or WhatsApp very quickly.

They are usually some distance from you or if they are in the same area, they will quickly leave on a ‘contract’ or business trip. They also usually have children back at home or an elderly parent that they adore.

Most often, the name and pictures are not of themselves. The communication quickly gets quite intense. You are the person they have been looking for.

They can’t wait to meet you. They will send you long, lyrical emails that make it seem like you’re speaking to the most romantic, loving person you have ever known.

They form an emotional connection with you.

Even though you’ve never met, ‘I love you’ comes quite easily. They paint a picture of your life together and how perfect it will be.

Then when they feel they have you ‘hooked’, they will disappear for a day or two, which send you into a state of panic.

When they come back, it’s with a story of some trauma. They were either mugged and their passport and all money and bank cards were stolen, and they need you to please help them.

This is when the request for money comes in together with protestations of great love.

Remember they set the scene that they are quite wealthy, so they promise to pay you back the minute they have access to their bank account.

Once you give in and send them the money, a few days later there will be another disaster that puts them in the same predicament.

Another request for money and so it goes.

Due to the emotional connection that was already established, hundreds of people fall prey to this scam, and some have lost their life savings. A man in the UK committed suicide after a woman did exactly this to him.

There are more women that fall prey to these unscrupulous criminals.

True love is what we all desire. We want to feel loved, adored, appreciated, acknowledged and significant.

Don’t let these people steal your dream of real love. The right person for you is out there. Simply start the process of finding your life partner with awareness and optimism.

When someone communicates with you online, suggest a face-to-face meeting as quickly as possible. Tell them that you don’t want to waste their time or yours.

If they are out of the country, look for the signs above and never send money to anyone no matter how plausible the story sounds. Tell them you prefer to continue the conversation when you can actually meet in person.

Also ask yourself if you really want a long-distance relationship. Set a high standard for yourself. Boundaries are important.

There are millions of single people also looking for a love that’s real, so you don’t need to settle for anything less than what you deserve.

If you have been hiding out in your home or in your workplace, get out there and start meeting people. The more people you meet, the greater the chance of you meeting the person you really want to spend your life with.

Get your confidence up by chatting to waiters, tellers and anyone else in the service industry. They have to be nice to you, so you get good practice of engaging people you don’t know.

As your confidence increases, start conversations with people you find attractive, not with the agenda of starting a relationship, but just simply to increase your circle of people. Who knows, maybe their best friend will be the match for you.

Kas Naidoo is a relationship coach and matchmaker. She can be contacted via [email protected]